Monday, May 30, 2005

A Rainbow In My Heart

Well well well.

What a tiring and fantastic day in the merry merry month of may, I must say.

Wow, how it all rhymes.

Yup, tomorrow's the last day with Bjorn and Desjunior with painting house...well, my last day. New job as production designer in Inspidea's starting come this Wednesday, and leave the house-painting crew I must. Truthfully I'm real sad to leave this job. We actually have another week to go to finish the rest of the house. We sure had alotta fun painting that damn 3-storey monster. The entire past week being together with these two crazy sekolah rendah childhood friends of mine is really a massive bull session while working; catching up with each others lives and trash-talking each other silly and swapping dirty stories and out-do each other in telling jokes and discussing the latest trend in custom automobile mods and engines and...PHEW. The list goes on. I'm gonna miss that morning chee-cheong fahn and the nescafe ice. =( Oh, and the Maxilite too. (Love the smell. It's like glue. Ooooo gluuue) These two guys I can really work with.

I really don't know what to think about it; I'm gonna be starting my first job soon. What a prospect. I'm real thankful I got it at all. It's a gift from God the mighty Father even though it's only a 6-month contract. But then...argh what can I say? It's a great big fucking rainbow. On the one hand I'm happy that I'm gonna be earning my first paycheck. I'm happy I'm finally a working man, able to fulfill my parents' wish that I'm finally starting to take care of the family's finances. I'm happy I'm be taking over the ship's helm and become responsible for all its needs. And if all goes well, I'm happy I'm finally on my way to getting that new automobile I've always dreamt of, and to get that Satria I've been driving around for the past 4 years done up into my very own Custom Satria LUAV, or the Light Urban Attack Vehicle with the de-commissioned army .30-30 M-60 machine gun atop the bubble canopy roof (approved by the Malaysian government, of course). This is the beginning of the career I've always dreamed of.
But on the other hand I've gotta get through that FIRST ONE MONTH before I do earn my first paycheck. I've gotta begin all over again, in many aspects such as making new friends, securing contacts, gain trust, and to keep cool. I've gotta make a big change, as I'm not the dependent little child anymore. I've gotta learn to be less of a hypocrite. I've gotta learn to be more positive. I've gotta learn from all the people in my life to be more positive. This is all going to be so tough on me, I'm not sure I can keep up.

It feels as though I'm leaving my old, friendly, comfortable and familiar world just to step into a new, cold, fearful and predatory one just to make a much-needed living. It feels as though I'm leaving all my friends and the people I know. Damn, it feels so damn new.

Generally I'm happy. Heck man, I should be very happy. So what's the problem? What's all this uneasiness about in my heart? Like I said, it's a great big goddam rainbow (forgive me Father, for I have uttered profanity in Your name). I rejoice because it's a new phase in my life and something exciting to venture into, and yet I cry because right now I'm terribly uncertain of myself. Uncertain of what? Tha fuck am I uncertain of?! Gee, I really don't know. Months or years from now I know I'll surely laugh myself silly reading this crap 'cos by then I'll probably realise that all of it seems like a piece of cake, and all of this jabbering is nothing but overreacted talk and bullshit. But Julius of the future, don't you fucking forget that in account of the hardships that the NOW Julius have to endure, you've finally own that Satria LUAV. Don't you forget that, my friend.

Dammit. I'm gonna miss that early morning chee-cheong fahn like crazy. Sigh.

Monday, May 23, 2005

Hello, Mr. Julius II - Nervous As Heck

Sigh...here I am writing another blog entry when I should be doing my FYP right now. Dammit...seems that this blog always interferes with my other more important work. Stupid blog, I shouldn't've started it. Oooouuuggh...must...write...blog entry...oooaaagh...must...ignore other...relevant...m-matters. Bleah.

Not that I've had any inpiration to write anything right now, mind you. I just that I feel I should be catching up on the months' events seeing as something quite big came up recently, and I haven't been dilligently updating myself now that I have a blog!

Well, it's a real hot night right now (get that out of your mind - I meant the TEMPERATURE 'hot' not SEXY 'hot'), and I shouldn't be complaining because I didn't want to switch on the air-conditioning in the hall as it's gonna be bedtime soon( I sleep in the hall in my own parent's apartment, right in front of my workspace. Cool, huh). Oh well, I guess I'm going to be switching it on a whole damn lot later on when I've got this place really set up for a 2D animation studio space. (I've just bought my full-sized lite-box and peg bar, and am going to be getting my drawing table very soon! Har har har!) I guess I'm gonna be venturing into traditional animation fo' real from this time on!

Then again, I don't even know if I'll be spending much time in my newly set-up studio in this house, seeing as I got this job from Inspidea.

Ooooohh yeah! That's right - Inspidea, the company what I went for an interview about 2 weeks ago. They called me up 3 days ago and told me I was hired as a production designer!

You probably think I'm the happiest person alive right now, but hell no, not really. In truth I'm nervous as heck. The only people who are happier than happy about all this are my parents, whom I, for my part, am happy that they are glad at last. They're so excited for me to start working on this coming 1st of June 2005. Oh well, I guess I owe it all partly to them and to many of my friends as well, in their own little ways. And especially to senorita Estella, a.k.a Su chee(for it was she who first alerted me of Inspidea's ad in the MMU Bulletin Boards and who forwards shiploads of company contacts in her Yahoo lists).

Only God knows how my first day'll turn out, and I'm going to pray hard to Him for more guidance along the way as I go on.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I can never thank God enough...(a tribute to my MMU buddies)

As we all know, friends are important in life. Without friends, our lives'll be just as empty as the inside of a famished cow on the brink of death or just be as dry and meaningless as daging salai. Lo and behold, I've just given you a kindergarten lesson.

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From the placid but barmy Ng Su Chee to the eccentric and happy-go-lucky Alan, and the zany duo Anas and Stephanie to the seemingly repressed 'Chicken'Lau, they are a bunch of wackiest, craziest, greatest, 'slap-me-quick-I'm-drunk-est' and most damnable people in the world! I've always considered myself real lucky to have known this group of people (Darry, Woonloong, Kester, Matthias, Christine, Melissa Tjen, Evan and Alan) during hostel days. From there our friendship just took off to a roaring start, and we literally went through everything together up until now. It was also an incredible stroke of luck that some of us could get an apartment in Cyberia together later on.

And we did some real crazy things in that apartment, I must say!

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Then comes Delta Trimester 1, the era of our internship. For a whole trimester we were out of Cyberia for the moment, or rather, I was. Here was a time I got to know some other friends better. Friends whom I just took for granted to be just mere acquaintances, friends who proved to be very valuable allies and well, great friends after all.

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Thanks for a very enjoyable internship, Kicit, Sim Yee, Amnah and Darrel!

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And lo, our great reign in Cyberjaya came to an end with a great trip to Genting.

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One thing I must say about these bunch of people that I've known, is that I've really learned many lessons from them. Getting together with them, be it to watch a movie, to have dinner, or even for a bull session really makes me feel one with them. Never have anyone accepted me as I was, never have anyone made an impact in my life such as them. I can never thank God enough for the group of friends He has given me.

Thanks you guys for making my university life a breeze. I apologize if I ever did or say anything to hurt you. I can never forget this particular phase in my life for as long as I live.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Hello, Mr. Julius.

It's now exactly 5:58 a.m, 11th of May 2005 Malaysian time. I'm takin' a break from working on my freelance assignment. It's no use...I can't work on it no further. The more I try to butter it up, the shittier it looks. I hate it. Why bother when all I can do now is make it look worse. Fuck it. I'm gonna go do cooler things, like writing this blog entry and when I'm done, draw ass-kickin comics! Yeeaaah! Ain't I just a stinker.

ANYway, o joy, o happy day... I got a call yesterday from Inspidea Animation Studios for a job interview on Saturday, May 14!

I still remembered, it was this funny number I saw when my phone rang. I was rudely awoken from my beauty slumber on the still early morning of 12:20 in the afternoon (I sleep daytime now, boys n girls). Like a polar bear out of hibernation, I gathered enough intelligence in my bonce to realise that I've come back to the real world, and slightly more intelligence yet to expect this call to be important. So I made doubly sure not to screw up (like the last time in Cyber, when this silly bleeder called me for an interview when I was sleeping at 9 a.m, and was kinda pissed cos i was pretty blurred). I forced my poor aching peepers open, cleansed both of them of peeper poo, took several deep breaths, and answered my phone with as sweet a hello as I can, which actually sounded like the frozen engine of a 10-ton Krupp truck with a flat battery and dead spark plug being cranked on a winter solstice.
Then, like a wind-chime from heaven, my cold-started eardrum picked up a signal which my still-frozen brain took 10 seconds to decode as a female voice, saying, "Hello Mr. Julius, I'm calling from Inspidea regarding your job application." I could just imagine her imagine me smiling.

All things aside, our telephone conversation went quite well. She was a charming lady, despite me sounding quite blur still as we chatted on. The company even sent me my interview details as well as some custom-made, bona-fide, built-for-order directions to their company office! Okay, I'm just exaggerating...but it was quite a detailed explanation of how to get there...

After all that, I took a look at their company website. Quite something different, I must say. On the splash page you can see a frail old crone shaking on her walking stick, like she was gonna croak at any moment. Click 'enter' and she'll turn into an ass-kickin, frail old crone without her walking stick, soaring up into the air like uncle Bruce Lee ready to bash your teeth in.

On a personal level: I think I'm gonna like 'em. Heck, I'VE GOTTA LIKE 'EM, even if they turn out to be of the same puffed-up species as those in 3D department in MFX! I'm gonna think positive! Gonna be myself and only myself and not masquerade anymore!

All in all, I hope i get this job as a Productions Designer in Inspidea. Getting this job would pretty much clear up my employment blues with my parents, and might be on my way to earn my first paycheck. I could also finally settle on a balanced schedule between my Final Year Project and work, and see if I got any time left over for my other aspirations. =)

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

We were like fighter crafts...

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My university life is quite over before I knew it...my pals...my buddies...all gone...sob sob. For now. Quite a sad start for a blog that has a happy heading. Maybe I shouldn't listen to Hennie Bekker so much next time...

I'm not ashamed to admit that I really respect all my FA buddies that made it through the entire thing without a hitch. It really shows the hidden courage and determination in them. During those moments when I was still among them, I would say that those are the moments when we are the most human of humans, with a myriad of emotions I've never seen before.
We were like fighter crafts launched to win a distant battle, struggling hard to evade the ever-present flak and fire along the way. Unavoidably, some will be shot down, and some regretfully even before they reach the final fight.

I'm really glad to see that your works have paid off, my friends. You all have earned it. I mean it.

And I don't want to hear any of those 'But Julius my work is crap' shit. You finished, you finished. You guys deserved the honour of it.

As for me, I haven't really let go of MMU's arse yet, not really, I guess. Most of my friends should know, I have another year to go, or more precisely, another semester. I dropped my major subject you see, to be continued next year in favour of better results and hopefully a more attractive Final Year Project and portfolio. I often wondered at times after that fateful day when I clicked the mouse button to drop Film and Animation if that was a wise decision. Well, wise or not, now's the time to make up for it.

Well, now that I'm at home with a complete design 'studio' comprising of my entire parents' apartment, there's no time to fuck around. There's work to be done, jobs to apply, freelances to hunt for, paycheques to earn, ambitions to pursue. PHEW...it's going to be a very busy 8 months coming. Time to sleep...