Sunday, July 10, 2005

KL drivers

Now at some mornings i get real pissed off and end up a sour lemon in office. The reason? It's just that most Malaysian drivers, particularly KL drivers, are rotten, obnoxious and - pardon the expression - totally FUCKTUP. Technically I'm a Malaysian road user myself but I know I'm a careful driver and I feel I'm justified enough for the following comments I'm about to make. I've driven enough until now to recognize and classify several types of road users which I think are the worst:

1) BLINKER HATERS. This extremely hateful disorder is commonplace especially, I repeat: ESPECIALLY among drivers of expensive sedans and SUVS, who actually are able to forget that their vehicles HAVE signal lights among the other redundant features in their machines that they've paid a hefty price for. They conveniently ignore the critical usage of their vehicle's signal lights, make a sudden turn into your face, and in no time at all, earn themselves a vehement cursing. They expect you to know what's their every move on the road and what's worse, after the entire caper and almost hitting you, the person stares at you like it was you who are the dangerous one. I mean, what the fuck...come on, blinker haters. If you drive a so-called *better* vehicle than i do doesn't mean I have to respect your sorry ass.

2) KIASU/AFRAID-TO-LOSE. 'Kiasu' - that's a word, or rather, a phrase in the hokkien dialect meaning 'afraid to lose', often used as a noun. Now one should be most careful of this particular class of pitiful subhuman road users because they are as inconsiderate as they are stupid. These people will NOT - repeat - NOT acknowledge nor respect your wish to switch lanes or make a turn, even if you are using one of the only means of communication on the road to tell them so: your signal lights. There was this occasion which happened to me weeks ago, when I was driving along the highway and wished to take a left at a fork. It was quite congested so I ended up having my blinkers switched on for almost 4 minutes, moving very slowly. At the end I gave up and switched it off, but then there was a break in the traffic with a slow-moving Proton Waja about 100-150 meters behind me. I switched on my signal, waited a few seconds to communicate my intentions to the Waja driver and took the turn. However, something happened to that Waja in my rear-view mirror. Being a KIASU, the driver of that Waja abruptly and deliberately sped up right after he saw me trying to change lane. I can se he wasn't going to let me change lanes, like he can do anything at that distance. Motherfucker came right at my tail, tail-gating me and blasted his horn. Right there and then I gave him what he and every single kiasu fucker on the road deserved: a long, sweet, juicy fuckfinger right out my window. The Waja driver, a malay bastard with a bitch in tudung at his side lost face for awhile, but later tried to earn it back by speeding up to my side and return me another fuckfinger, which was as futile as the slut at his side was impotent. She was wearing this expression of hatred so intense and ugly that it rivaled even the ugliest elephant assholes. He was wearing a baseball cap and some sort of hip-hop shirt with sunglasses pushed back up his forehead, like some american badass (sheesh...stereotype). The couple looked mad and they stared at me. I just smiled, shook my head and wiggled my index finger to them. Here's to you, fuckers: don't be heroes if you can't. Well now, just goes to show how inconsiderate some road-users are. Not that I have anything against malays or I'm rascist or anything like that, but just a note through experience - most kiasu drivers on the road that I've encountered are malays. They give you dirty looks, including the women. Heck, ESPECIALLY the women! Their attitudes totally change when they're in the shell of their automobiles. They simply CANNOT lose on the road. I wished that Waja did hit me in the backside, so's i can get that aerokit for my car at his expense after I sue his ass.

3) HESITANT CRABS. Though not directly causing danger on the road, this particular species of road-users can really make an accident happen. Of course, it is always understood to not do anything rash on the road, and to take things easy, and I would also understand one's predicament if he or she is still new on the road, but this is not the case. Some people, though I don't know why, just LOVE to hesitate so much, even though enough space and opportunity has been given to them to make their move, be it to make a turn or to switch lanes. They do it very slowly, almost like they're not doing anything at all, all the time floating in between lanes, disrupting traffic. And when you think they're not gonna make a move after all and you try to overtake them, they make a sudden move, and hesitate halfway again, leaving you braking like hell. When someone hesitates, you hesitate as well, and everyone hesitates, and everyone doesn't know what the fuck's going on, and everything becomes unpredictable. It's all so inconsiderate. Confronting a hesitating driver on the road always tend to make me hesitate as well. I mean, come considerate, learn to read the other drivers and be sure, be CONFIDENT when to make your move. Don't hesitate and fuck everything up.

I guess that's it about KL drivers from me. They are lots more species of shitty KL drivers, but to be fair that's all I can think of right now that REALLY pisses me off. If you find that you classify as any one of the classes above and do the shit they do, it's time to rework your driving mentality, don't you think. =)


Blogger Cheese said...

Ehehe so true! Yeah cos i've been practising my driving in PD quite often and im beginning to understand how drivers feel. The strange thing is , all the drivers who pissed me off at the moment are Malays! Well sounds like im a racist but that's the truth. Malay male motorcyclist wearing sarong and kopiah are the worst i tell you. And also some "berlagak nak mampus" bus and lorry drivers who likes to 'highlight' people when I am driving a tad slow, like 70-80 kmj in a kampung road? Hell, yeah. These drivers are chickens shits. Too chicken to overtake any cars and they try to show their machoness by lying to themselves that the front car is too slow and use their blink-blink to show their impatience. Another thing is, why do curser always have to stare ar you first before they start cursing? Not like their eyes are so nice. I somehow sense a fear in them when they stare. Dunno if it's true or not, they stare at you to find out who are you first, before they annoyed the hell out of you. You know, they don't wanna end up cursing a "ketua ahli kongsi gelap" or any mad or fierce dude, you know what will happen next. Hehehe. That's all my comments. Sorry if I sound so shallow. Hahaha.

3:44 PM  

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