Saturday, February 25, 2006

Good Old A21011

Sigh. I had a really weird dream...

How did it ever come to this, I wonder. Ha-ha.

It started out innocently enough one fine evening when I was chatting on MSN with Li Wen, one of my best friends from MMU times. He was viewing my blog and I was viewing his blog, and most of the time we caught up with each other's life, we discussed about the good old times with the gang (Darry, Woonloong, Kester, Matthias, Alan, Li Wen and Julius - gang A21011). It has been so long since we got out to makan together, so long since we engaged in a heated multiplayer computer game battle, so long since we got together as a gang once more.

So as innocent as the conversation seemed, Li Wen cordially asked me this one little question which goes, "so, who among us do you think is gonna get married first?" Well, my answer was "the slackiest among us i suppose" Ha-ha. I was half-joking, half telling the truth, actually...but my answer to that question isn't important. When the conversation ended and we said goodbye, it wasn't the end of the story for me. That innocent little question stayed on my subconscious mind like a vice.

When I slept I had this really warped dream that could only come out of a really warped mind. It was about that question Li Wen asked about who's gonna marry first, and for what reason God knows, I dreamt about it but with a little twist.
I dream we were all seven of us sometime in the future, and we were all so ancient and haggard-looking. We were out for a drink or something, i guess. I can see their wrinkled-up faces oh so clearly dear God, it was them, my friends! I remembered Kester in the dream most clearly; he was this sweet old grampaw with a nice hat and maroon checkered shirt with kind eyes and a cane...a true western gentleman and a true image of goodness. And Li Wen, he was there too, and he asked, "So who among us do you think is gonna die first?" And we all laughed. Ehhh ngyeh! Ngyeh! Ngyeh! Yeh! Hyuk! Hyuk! Hyuk! *snort* Imagine...a group of these sweet old geriatrics talking about such things!

Ha-ha-ha. Well, tie me kangaroo down, sport. It was kinda sad. But also in a way kinda beautiful...and funny at the same time. The dream was so damn realistic, I darn near wanna puke. I could smell, feel, touch, see so clearly...goodness. Thank God, there wasn't any conclusion as to who among us is gonna crop it first, and I hope sincerely that it wasn't a pre-cog like thing I'm experiencing.

Just wanna share this with you guys. Have a laugh, cry over it, your choice. This is a quick sketch as close as i can imagine that i did after i woke up. (Click on the image below for a larger view.)


1. Matthias
2. Yan Li Wen
3. Alan (wearing something that looks like knucklevest and shadow pants - thanks to Li Wen for pointing that out today)
4. Jouleous
5. Darry
6. Kester
7. Lai Woon loong

Friday, February 24, 2006

Jouleous Good or Bad?

Thanks to my pal Amelia who forwarded me this site, here's something interesting for you guys to do.

Below are links to the Johari and Nohari window, a sort of personality awareness mapping system. Help me be a better person by pointing out my bad points, plus, tell me what you appreciate about myself. You can even set up your own personality awareness mapping later on when you're done and I'll help you.

Good points. (I think you're the best. Here's why.)

Bad points. (I think you're a stinking sanamabiche. Eat shit.)

Be honest about it, friends, whack me hard and don't hold back!
("Whack me", ha-ha. Well, please don't. Girls don't 'whack' only guys do...and I'm not gay.)

Thank you very much!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Ugh...sick daze.

Ugh...never knew flu could be this bad.

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Thanks to my two little nephews.

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The massive bio-organic battle fortress that is my body has been fighting the virus army for days already. Never in my young adult life have I had it this bad.

Oh well. FYP lurks. The going gets tough, the tough gets going anyways!

Monday, February 20, 2006

Don't be an asshole.

I hate this. I really, really LOATHE this kind of bullshit.

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I was out driving the other day when a malay woman in a fat ass Kia Carnival MPV commited this felony. When she saw me trying to take a turn, bitch rushed to overtake me.

What IS it with local motorists these days? What's the big freaking rush to cause everyone to drive like a freaking nut? Why can't everyone drive like it wasn't going to be the end of the world anymore?

Why is it so fucking PANTANG to see a set of signal lights being turned on?

People who do this kind of shit on the road, they argue, "Oooo...just cos you put de signal light doesn't mean you can take the turn ma." Another famous one is, "You cannot see me coming fast ah? I don't wish to slow down for you!" OH. So that gives you the right to hog the lane, right? That means I must slow down and wait for you to pass my vehicle from MILES away THEN only i can make my turn?

LANCHIAO.

I use my signal lights to indicate my move, it's not my problem if you choose not to respect it. I did the right thing, you didn't. You're so far away for me to safely cut in! Even if you must slow down and shift down a gear or two, so what - you'll die on that? My exit is fast approaching, what the hell do you want me to do, miss my turn? Drift and slide sideways into the turn InitialD-like and kill everyone else? And I cannot just slow down - just to let YOU, the KING, past - suddenly on the expressway at peak hours when every damn one is going at 80km/h at least, even on the slow lane.

Eat shit. You people who have this kind of mentality make me sick.

Don't be an asshole. Respect others' signal lights.

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Friday, February 17, 2006

The Wolf's Valentine

It was exceptionally...well...beautiful on Valentine's night. I mean, I dunno...as I was sitting here in front of my PC, it was not the usual dreary, grimy Julius'-parents-apartment atmosphere anymore. It was somehow different. The light was brighter, the colour was more vivid, the air was easier to breathe in. Just somehow different. Like God was on this one night looking down upon our apartment.

Some of my pals on MSN had the courtesy call to just wish me a nice happy Valentine's while I was slogging with tonnes of work. Yeah, it was real nice of 'em. I truly appreciate it, though I didn't know how many really have a covert meaning to it (ha-ha, so i wish), but mweh, that aside, it was a nice gesture.

I must say it became a kind of a night of reflection for me on Valentine's night. I don't really celebrate Valentine's and don't yet have a reason to do so but this courtesy call by my friends tremendously spiced things up for the night. The wolf didn't need coffee anymore. I mean, why did so many people wished me a happy Valentine's, for gosh's sakes? Especially from friends who're already coupled. It's not the same as Merry Christmas or happy Chinese New Year, or is it? Dang it's not like they don't know I'm still an eligible bachelor, a bujang lapok, a Knight Templar, why did they wish me? Ha-ha. Please, don't get me wrong. I don't consider it an insult to wish ME a happy valentine's, but like I said...I reflected heavily and are only writing down (with huge smiles on my face, not sarcastic smiles, and music to my ears) my thoughts for the night.

A pitiful flop as I am at such things as always, I do admit that during the course of my lifetime I DO permit myself the male human weakness of falling for several girls, but that was it. Fini. There was this one girl whom I truly liked during my last months in university before I dropped. We had chatted alot and everytime I saw her in the FA studio, my heart raced. She was the sweetest sweetheart I ever saw, and she has this smile and this twist of her head that can really turn me into soup. It took most of my courage and my faith to tell her my feelings for her at the end, which I'm glad I did. It was really rough at first, but the more I think about it, the more I felt I did the right thing. She wasn't scared out of her wits like I thought she would be. She didn't run away to the end of the world, depressed that an enigmatic wierdo has the hots for her. Instead she told me she was happy, and glad for me that I was brave to tell her my thoughts. However I was to be disppointed at the end. For 2 years she already had a boyfriend. Wow, sublime. I've just created a rhyme!
One of my housemates advised, that if I think she's happy with her current relationship, leave it be. I opted for it. we're still good friends till now.

Gee...I don't know, really. I have never held a girl in my arms before, or felt the warmth and softness of a female body against my own, or is it time I did? I don't know how it feels like to have a mate to share things with, or how I'll react to her. All my life I've lived a life of a surly warrior and an uncivilised barbarian.
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So will I hurt her? Will I treat her like shit, whoever she may be? For that matter, how long will someone end up coupling with me STAY coupled with me? I'm not really worried about how she'll evetually treat me, because I was brought up with this unique fact that everyone's better than the scum that is myself, thanks to my family.

Sigh. For now, I live a ronin's life. Serving no one, masterless (or mistressless!). Hahahahahahahah! *Ahem*...
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That was a long pose. Sorry I was a lil late; Happy Valentine's.

Monday, February 13, 2006

Calibrate schmalibrate!

Feel the burn, baby? Feel the burn?

No, I'm talking not about workouts, I'm talking about the NEW SEMESTER OF SCHOOL!
Yessss loidies an' gentlemen, it's going to be a very very busy 4-5 months ahead starting - no points for guessing - TODAY! No, actually last week. No last month! Hmmm.

SEE?! That's what I mean! I'm always playing when I should be working! I've always flopped when I should've flapped! AAAHHHH! BEH TAHAN sometimes - so much more that I haven't done on my university Final Year Project! Not counting my part-time work and personal projects even. It's STAGGERING! I feel like exploding right now for you all to see! Not that I'm complaining, cos my mates too got their own FYP worries, but...it's just how I'm feeling right now! STAGGERING REALITY!! It's killing! The real life is killing!! ARRGHH! If I illustrate my current condition in a statistical format, it'll be this:
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with me looking like this:
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OK. Phew. I've got to take charge. There's got to be more discipline here. Good thing there's the statistical graph - I could use it to calibrate myself to maximum efficiency. OK. I need to get more work done. To do that, I need more motivation. But I can't get enough motivation without proper rest, can't I? Hence:
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Nice. With some motivation I can definitely go on. A much needed rest for most of everything to increase a little. For a more efficient resting period, let's forget about work!
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But wait, too much rest and I'll become a hopeless hedonist! WTF am I doing!! Damn, some of that sanity has got to go, i guess...to make way for some working overdrive. Not to mention the physical strength too...
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There we go. I'm working steadily. However hmmm...not enough work speed. Damn I'm like an old slug moving inside jell-O! Gotta up that work speed a lil...
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Looks OK still. Let's have more working overcharge!
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Yeaaahh! Ride im cowboy!!
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eh?

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OH NO! MELTDOWN!! I gotta get myself back on! Shit! What to do! WHAT TAE DOOOOO!!!!
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Damn, cut the power! Cut the DAMN poweerrr!!
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...

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EH? What th...nothing's working!

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Need rest! Need rest!
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Dammit, NOTHING'S WORKING!
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oh well.

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I recently read an online article whereby the author discussed whether if people are becoming more machine-like in the 21st century. I stagger to think of how true this is...

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

FIRST DAY OF CLASS!

Ahhh...it's feels so good to be back, really! To meet old friends again, to get to know new ones, to see my generous lecturers and tutors again, to finally complete my course and make everyone proud! Everyone's so fun and full of life, Sze, Darry, Cheah Wearn, Peng Hong, Yip Seng and Su Meng, we couldn't stop laughing.

So. First day of class of (take two) Delta year, trimester 3.

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