Friday, February 17, 2006

The Wolf's Valentine

It was exceptionally...well...beautiful on Valentine's night. I mean, I I was sitting here in front of my PC, it was not the usual dreary, grimy Julius'-parents-apartment atmosphere anymore. It was somehow different. The light was brighter, the colour was more vivid, the air was easier to breathe in. Just somehow different. Like God was on this one night looking down upon our apartment.

Some of my pals on MSN had the courtesy call to just wish me a nice happy Valentine's while I was slogging with tonnes of work. Yeah, it was real nice of 'em. I truly appreciate it, though I didn't know how many really have a covert meaning to it (ha-ha, so i wish), but mweh, that aside, it was a nice gesture.

I must say it became a kind of a night of reflection for me on Valentine's night. I don't really celebrate Valentine's and don't yet have a reason to do so but this courtesy call by my friends tremendously spiced things up for the night. The wolf didn't need coffee anymore. I mean, why did so many people wished me a happy Valentine's, for gosh's sakes? Especially from friends who're already coupled. It's not the same as Merry Christmas or happy Chinese New Year, or is it? Dang it's not like they don't know I'm still an eligible bachelor, a bujang lapok, a Knight Templar, why did they wish me? Ha-ha. Please, don't get me wrong. I don't consider it an insult to wish ME a happy valentine's, but like I said...I reflected heavily and are only writing down (with huge smiles on my face, not sarcastic smiles, and music to my ears) my thoughts for the night.

A pitiful flop as I am at such things as always, I do admit that during the course of my lifetime I DO permit myself the male human weakness of falling for several girls, but that was it. Fini. There was this one girl whom I truly liked during my last months in university before I dropped. We had chatted alot and everytime I saw her in the FA studio, my heart raced. She was the sweetest sweetheart I ever saw, and she has this smile and this twist of her head that can really turn me into soup. It took most of my courage and my faith to tell her my feelings for her at the end, which I'm glad I did. It was really rough at first, but the more I think about it, the more I felt I did the right thing. She wasn't scared out of her wits like I thought she would be. She didn't run away to the end of the world, depressed that an enigmatic wierdo has the hots for her. Instead she told me she was happy, and glad for me that I was brave to tell her my thoughts. However I was to be disppointed at the end. For 2 years she already had a boyfriend. Wow, sublime. I've just created a rhyme!
One of my housemates advised, that if I think she's happy with her current relationship, leave it be. I opted for it. we're still good friends till now.

Gee...I don't know, really. I have never held a girl in my arms before, or felt the warmth and softness of a female body against my own, or is it time I did? I don't know how it feels like to have a mate to share things with, or how I'll react to her. All my life I've lived a life of a surly warrior and an uncivilised barbarian.
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So will I hurt her? Will I treat her like shit, whoever she may be? For that matter, how long will someone end up coupling with me STAY coupled with me? I'm not really worried about how she'll evetually treat me, because I was brought up with this unique fact that everyone's better than the scum that is myself, thanks to my family.

Sigh. For now, I live a ronin's life. Serving no one, masterless (or mistressless!). Hahahahahahahah! *Ahem*...
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That was a long pose. Sorry I was a lil late; Happy Valentine's.


Blogger picibel said...


er, there's no need for singles to celebrate valentines.

And take a walk around your whole house and ask yourself how do behave at home. Thats exactly how & what your darling's gonna have to tolerate for the rest of your life.

Would you treat your girl like shiet? You can prolly answer that by now. Good luck & God bless hunting! But don't bag yourself a bunny and never put any thought to it again.
She's not gonna be a stuffed animal.

^_^ Nwahs forever.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Laydie~Bug said...

I'm pretty sure you'll treat your girl like a princess if not a queen. Correction, VERY sure.

11:06 AM  
Blogger ChristinE said...

she's there jules. look around =)

12:24 PM  
Blogger Jouleous! said...

*looks under keyboard, peers through holes in his computer monitor to look inside, opens drawers, uses magnifying glass to scrutinize the floors...*

Nope, didn't found none...

3:23 PM  
Blogger ChristinE said...

of were only looking for dust in tos tiny lil' holes!! try looking again jules =)

10:25 AM  
Blogger Jouleous! said...

Wow...i didn't know my workstation was THAT clean!

11:23 PM  

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